Player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can’t afford to
Die.” So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.
President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people
Don’t want me to Die.” He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
Schoolboy, “My son, I am an old man and I don’t have many years left, you
Have more years ahead of you so I will
Sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.”
chemistry mid term.
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
One student, however, wrote the following:
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different
religions that exist in the world today.
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added. < /P>
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct……leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
shouting ‘Oh my God’
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. I’ve got a confession to make.
I’ve been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I’m telling you in this text and I can’t live with myself a minute longer without you knowing about this.
The truth is that when you’re not around I’ve been sharing your wife, day and night. In fact, probably much more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently and I know that that’s no excuse.
The temptation was just too great. I can’t live with the guilt and hope you’ll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you.
Fred then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out and noticed that the damned Auto-Correct had changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” Technology, huh? It’ll be the death of us all.
National pride is having a renaissance. In the US a shmock was elected president with the slogan “Make America great again”. How much of a shmock is he? Well, just check, where the slogan came from here, it (quote)
is a campaign slogan used in American politics that originated with the Ronald Reagan campaign of 1980.
And the UK went bonkers and voted to leave the EU. The motivation there too can be summarized with national pride. How successful has national pride been for the UK? As an example check the history of “Made in Germany” here,
The label was originally introduced in Britain by the Merchandise Marks Act 1887, to mark foreign produce more obviously, as foreign manufactures had been falsely marking inferior goods with the marks of renowned British manufacturing companies and importing them into the United Kingdom. …
Germany successfully leveraged the Made in Germany tag as a brand synonymous of product reliability and quality.
Oh, that worked well. Just not for the UK.
So, who needs national pride and why? Someone a lot smarter than me, Arthur Schopenhauer answered these questions:
On the other hand, the cheapest form of pride is national pride; for the man affected therewith betrays a want of individual qualities of which he might be proud, since he would not otherwise resort to that which he shares with so many millions.
The man who possesses outstanding personal qualities will rather see most clearly the faults of his own nation, for he has them constantly before his eyes.
But every miserable fool, who has nothing in the world whereof he could be proud, resorts finally to being proud of the very nation to which he belongs. In this he finds compensation and is now ready and thankful to defend, … all the faults and follies peculiar to it.
From ‘Parerga and Paralipomena’, Vol. 1, Aphorisms on the Wisdom of Life, ‘What A Man Represents’
National pride gives me shivers. It was one driving force behind both world wars.
Ask yourself, don’t you have anything better to be proud of?
I am certain, you do.