ER

Surfin’ USA

Dear Reader,

If you are in the US, I hope you are celebrating, we have net neutrality.

Now, this FCC ruling is almost certain to be challenged by the telcos and cable companies. But you got to celebrate small victories.

And since we will be continue “surfin’ USA” freely, here is the song to go with it, the classic from The Beach Boys:

Keep on surfing,

Engine Room

ER

Native Wisdom

Dear Reader,

Since Glynsky posted one of those the young are stupid pieces here, I thought to throw in a piece of wisdom:

Where white man went wrong

Indian Chief “Two Eagles” was asked by a white U.S. government official:

‘You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done.’

The Chief nodded in agreement. The officiai continued:

‘Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?’

The Chief stared at the government official then replied:

‘When white man find land, Indians running it.

No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water.

Women did all the work, Medicine men free.

Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex.’

Then the chief leaned back and smiled.

‘Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.’

 

Back to hunting,

Engine Room

Glynsky

sorry…

Dear diablog,

Without too much detail I have had a rather trying time over recent days due to a variety of ‘malaises’ – happily, so far, not mine! This has somewhat restricted the time I have available for writing.

I hope to get some original stuff in print very soon and apologise for having to fall back on a submission a while ago from Christina

christina

who, harrumphin’ about other people sent a variety of Q and A’s from (I hope fictional) exam answers from 16 year olds:

Q. Name the four seasons?
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink?
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q…. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’?
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q.. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning?
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head

With her own comments in red.

Yours, diablog, with little more to add

Glynsky

ER

Please push back

Dear Reader,

Put your coffee aside, you do not want to spill it over your keyboard. Here are the spying news from the last couple of days:

– NSA and GCHQ have cracked the hard drive software of pretty much every manufacturer. Meaning, they can access your hard drive and do whatever they want. Place fake evidence on it, put child pornography on it, record your every key stroke, and that includes your passwords. Do you feel safer now?

– NSA and GCHQ also broke into the servers of SIM card manufacturers and stole the encryption keys. So, you can forget about privacy on your cellphone or smartphone. But you do feel safer now, don’t you?

– And your UK government admitted to illegally spy on lawyers and record privileged conversations. What do they care about the law. Because if the law does not fit their needs, the UK spies just have it changed.

– As in this lovely case: UK-US surveillance regime was unlawful ‘for seven years’.

Luckily, you can do something against this.

Thanks to Privacy International, you can at least find out whether the GCHQ illegally spied on you. Please click on this link:

https://www.privacyinternational.org/?q=illegalspying

Yes, you have to give them your data. But they have that already anyway.

And we have start pushing back. NSA and GCHQ have gone berserk. They are out of control. They are worse than organized crime. They have the means to blackmail any and every elected politician.

The USA and the UK can neither be called a lawful state, nor a democracy anymore.

Stay sane,

Engine Room

ER

Fam(e)ous Iren(e)

Dear Reader,

Whenever our beloved Iren,

iren-02

shows up on diablog, which isn’t too often, the following song from 35 (!) years ago goes through my head:

 

Fame by Irene (I know, one e too many) Cara. And as a heavy metal fan, our Iren might not even like it.

In any case, this is a brilliant NYC street scene, I love the Checker cab

Checker_Taxi

and the movie with the same title, was a huge hit.

Stay tuned,

Engine Room

 

ER

Africa for Druids

Dear Reader,

Our beloved commentator, The Inverness Druid, complained here, that I played the wrong travel music. Never mind that it was played for our equally beloved commentator, Smiles, who appreciated the song greatly. That shows you two things:

1) it is impossible to please every body

2) hardly ever do two people on diablog agree on something

And although this isn’t a call in show, let’s make the druid happy, here is

Toto – Africa

Stay tuned,

Engine Room