Pete

English is a foreign Language

 There are many things that keep me awake at night,
 some more serious than others.
 In order to not be accused of being a miserable git by my
 co diablog writers I will stick to the  more  trivial ones, for the moment…  

 I find the English language and  it’s many nuances a
constant source of amusement and frustration.

 Try teaching a 5 year old to read  the word
‘Wednesday’ sometime and you will see where I am coming from.

   
If there is one thing certain about English pronunciation,
it is that there is almost nothing certain about it.

I am informed that no other language in the world has
more words spelled the same way and yet pronounced differently.

Consider the ones shown below:

road – broad
five – give
heard – beard
early – dearly
beau – beauty
steak – streak
ache – moustache
low – how
scour – four
grieve – sieve
paid – said
break – speak

English pronunciation is so various—one might say random—
that not one of our twenty-six letters can be relied on for consistency.

Take as examples the c in race, rack, and rich

A quick test for Glynsky:
Explain  the B in debt, the A in bread, or the second T in thistle.

 In the letters OUGH, which can be pronounced in many different ways—

as in through, though, thought, tough, plough, thorough, etc.

I suppose at my age none of this is worth worrying about,
as many of my plans to change the World seem
to have fallen at the first fence.

Maybe I should be more like Glynsky (God help me) and stick with illiteracy.

After all he has done pretty well for himself considering
he has just failed a beginners course in Joined up speaking..

Pete

Leslie Nielsen 1926-2010

I loved Leslie Nielsen  as  the  hapless doctor in “Airplane!” and the accident-prone detective Frank Drebin in “The Naked Gun” comedies.
He died last Sunday. He was 84.

He was probably best remembered as Lt. Frank Drebin in ‘The Naked Gun’ series of pictures, but also enjoyed a more than 60-year career in motion pictures and television, Nielsen came to Hollywood in the mid-1950s after performing in 150 live television dramas in New York. With a  handsome face, blond hair and 6-foot-2 height, he seemed ideal for a movie leading man.
Nielsen first performed as the king of France in the Paramount operetta “The Vagabond King” with Kathryn Grayson.
The film — he called it “The Vagabond Turkey” — flopped, but MGM signed him to a seven-year contract.
His first film for that studio was auspicious — as the space ship commander in the science fiction classic “Forbidden Planet.” He found his best dramatic role as the captain of an overturned ocean liner in the 1972 disaster movie, “The Poseidon adventure.
He became known as a serious actor, although behind the camera he was always a joker.
That was an aspect of his personality never exploited, however, until “Airplane!” was released in 1980 and became a huge hit.
This was followed up with his huge success in Police Squad and Naked Gun.

As the doctor aboard a plane in which the pilots, and some of the passengers, become violently ill, Nielsen says they must get to a hospital right away.
“A hospital? What is it?” a flight attendant asks, inquiring about the illness.
“It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now,” 
When he asks a passenger if he can fly the plane, the man replies,
“Surely you can’t be serious.”
He responds: “I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”
Neilsen will be sadly missed.

Glynsky

my new mission…

Dear diablog,

Yesterday I watched Pete and Engine Room (with great skill – but nothing approaching mine) illuminate a day which I am beginning to dread.

Why must Mondays exist!

Whilst they enjoyed their coffee (made the correct way), munched on croissants for brekkie and pot noodles for lunch enjoying themselves discussing major supply sources of banned materials, poor Hil trying to downplay revelations on how skilled the US is at being amateur about statesmanship and just generally getting on with life and a number of pressing diablog issues, what happened to me?

Great day Monday. First I have to sort an idiotic bank manager who seems to think that cash flow is simply something I should be able to control at the snap of my fingers. I am forever grateful to RBS for having made us all enjoy the run up to Christmas so much.

Then, on trying to make a simple cup of tea, it seemed a good time for the washing machine to shed its water supply and drown assorted stored ‘dry’ goods by emptying the Thames onto the floor – I hate plumbing. I get soaked trying to repair it and my repairs never seem to work. Yes, you guessed, deluge two followed my valiant efforts (Pete was very inspired to refer to me leaking!). We’ll see today if the BandAid has worked!

As usual, whilst up to my neck in muck and bullets, Mme Glynskette needs a lift to the shops ‘cos ‘parking is difficult’! Changing in to dry clothes whilst the solution to Africa’s water shortage pours over the floor is ‘kin difficult!

At the same time I am contacted by the carer of an elderly relative that ‘ we need porridge’ –

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Pete

Wackyleaks

The GlynskyandPete Diablog was catapulted into a worldwide diplomatic crisis today, with the leaking to the international media of more than 250,000 classified cables from its International data base **.

  (**Filing Cabinet)

I have often warned Glynsky about keeping a Diary and now look what happened.

He has today managed to personally upset Iran, Germany France and many other Counties with his revelations.
America is also quite annoyed with him as he had agreed to keep their relationship confidential.
Yet again this one man conduit has jeopardised our very existence

ER

Less Hope to get your Dope – from the Dutch

Dear Reader,

Please ignore this post, it is strictly for Pete’s eyes only.
Let me be clear, diablog in no way encourages, endorses or supports the use of drugs.

On the other hand, Pete is the only person capable of handling Glynsky 1-on-1 without Glynsky being in his usual restraints.
If you wondered how he manages, the secret is ……., yes, you guessed it, Glynsky gets his puff and off they go.
Needless to say, Pete has to calm his nerves before, during and after those sessions with Glynsky as well.
So, here you have it, two happy campers from the 60s. Think of them as Cheech and Chong, if you want.

Why am I revealing this?

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