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Internet – "Hollywood and Music Executive Edition"

Dear Reader,

Don’t worry, Hollywood hasn’t taken over the internet. Yet.
Although, the numerous stupid legal bills and agreements like PIPA, SOPA, OpenAct, DMCA, ACTA and others certainly are an attempt to do so.

No, the internet Hollywood Edition is a special internet experience for Hollywood moguls, and I would add the music industry executives.
It is brought to you by Aaron Klein, I found it through Glyn Moody.

Here’s what internet for Hollywood and music executives should be like (quote):

  • Before you can do a Google search, you have to sit through five minutes of ads for Google Chrome, Chromebooks by Samsung, Android Phones by Motorola, and that amazing straight-to-video blockbuster, Google+. And oh yeah, don’t even think about trying to skip the ads. A cute little red “X” appears in the corner of your screen if you try to do that.
  • Microsoft Word will no longer allow you to read or edit movie scripts that are obvious takeoffs from other movies. We get the message: remixing content to make something new is wrong. Bonus for us: this would have stopped you from absolutely ruining “Arthur” in the remake.
  • If you fly off to your vacation home in the south of France, your Mac won’t boot up at all. Remember, it’s your fault for traveling – just buy another one with the right “region code.”
  • Twitter still works fine in the Hollywood Edition. But all tweets are delayed for about three hours, unless you want to pay $10 a day to see them immediately. Bonus for you: every other tweet will offer you some really overpriced popcorn.

So far from Aaron Klein.
Now here are some additional features from me for Hollywood and music industry executives:

1) Screenshots are prohibit.
For every screenshot you make, your credit card is charged US$100,000, which go straight into the bank account of the webmaster.

2) You are not allowed to use copy (ctrl-c) and paste (ctrl-v).
Every time you use copy, US$50,000 goes to the author of whatever is on your screen. Everytime you use paste, another US$50,000 goes to a free software initiative.

3) You cannot send attachments, since you are actually creating copies that way.
Everytime you are sending an attachment, the creator of the file receives US$100,000  from your personal bank account.

I am fairly certain, the Hollywood Edition of the internet would put an end to excessive copyright law initiatives. Especially, if certain US senators and congressmen and -women were included.

If you have additions to the list above, please let us know in comments.     

Engine Room