Goodbye Brits

Dear Reader,

It is time to say goodbye to our British internet users. From my point of view, they must be either utterly stupid or childish beyond any reasoning.

Too harsh? Well, then please give me an explanation for the following.

The British government is introducing internet censorship. Yes, the Brits are joining such brilliant states as North Korea, Saudi Arabia and Iran.

Their narrow-minded – I am being polite here – PM Cameron is using the fig leave of pornography. So much for being creative. And never mind the Sun and the other British “newspapers” full of T&A.

British internet service providers will block internet content by default.

“But it is just pornography”, you say? Wrong!

Here is what will be censored:

☑ pornography
☑ violent material
☑ extremist and terrorist related content
☑ anorexia and eating disorder websites
☑ suicide related websites
☑ alcohol
☑ smoking
☑ web forums
☑ esoteric material
☑ web blocking circumvention tools


(Update: Rightly, Pete doubts that, so here is the source:


And if you thought, this is about porn, then you are probably foolish enough to believe, that you can “opt in” and will get everything. The search engine results will be censored for everyone.

By the way, I can argue easily that diablog falls into many of those categories.

We wrote about “alcohol“, “smoking” and “web blocking circumvention tools“. Our posts about WikiLeaks and OccupyWallStreet are probably “extremist and terrorist related content”.  And since you can leave comments, diablog could be considered a “web forum”.

I almost forgot Glynsky’s “eating disorder”.

Joking aside, why don’t the Brits cut the cord and go offline, if they don’t like the internet. Why don’t they go back to their Sky News, the Sun, and all other mindless, useless media?

There is a bonus joke in all of this:

The Brits are buying the censorship technology from China.

But then, the Brits are also very happy with Tempora, their “intelligence service” program spying on every single person. And with their “D-Notices”, which make British old media the joke of a lifetime.

Herewith I award our Idiot of the Day Medal to the non-protesting British internet users.

Farewell, cousins, you deserve this.

Engine Room

20 thoughts on “Goodbye Brits

  1. The only solution for we Brits is that you stop writing about Wikileaks and Occupy Wall Street, and then we will not be in danger.
    Actually, I do not care as my internet address is Austrian.
    Keep writing the crap for Glynsky’s sake.

    1. Dear, Mr. “Not in my Backyard”,

      And smoking does not concern you either.
      Pardon while I yawn.

      Did you stop caring about
      your parents, the Druid, …?

      But wait. Alcohol? Eating disorder?
      Traveling to suspicious countries?
      Tough luck, Mister.


  2. My parents do not own a computer and never even touched one.
    The Druid lives in Scotland, soon to be independent from the Brits.
    Alcohol abuse. I have never abused alcohol.
    Eating disorderly? What me? The maximum is that I get some spaghetti down my shirt very occasionally.
    The countries are not suspicious. I am controlled more going into the States. What is happening? Are we Commie bashing again?

    Just putting in plans for a new airport in your neighbourhood with the flight path over your house.

  3. Don’t need it. Will not bother to look. No computer will ever rule my life. I know when I have overeaten. Must work out more.
    Sleep well. Tomorrow training at 07.00.

  4. Probably a great post, ER and I understand that the others kinda left you on your own a bit now but I must say I miss the “old” diablog with more jokes and fun… PETE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I miss your posts, get off the couch and back to your desk and write some typical Pete posts, you are very much missed…. Oh, and bye the way…. I won`t stop screaming here before you write one of your clever posts so you may as well start now!

    1. Dear Iren,

      Don’t worry, I agree 100%.

      BTW, the “Author” links are fixed, on all 1,800 posts.
      If you now click on let’s say “Pete“,
      you’ll get all posts by Pete in reverse chronological order.

      Keep yelling,

  5. Really?
    Great job on the blog, I will re-read some old Pete posts but I will keep screaming untill he`s back! He better be back soon… I would prefer yesterday, but tomorrow would be great too :)

    1. For now, go back to early August 2012 only. We still need to fix the pics and vids on all posts older than that.


      Consider me screaming with you, a metal/hard rock yelling duet.

  6. good post ER and ignore the other comments.
    If what u say is 100% accurate ( particularly with regard to web forums) we will all be ‘off air’ soon anyway.
    By the way it was great to hear from the highly missed and long lost Iren.
    As she has returned to the fold I will be quick to respond with a new post.
    However I cannot promise it will be vaguely funny.

  7. Oh thank God you`re back!
    It was really great hearing from you again too, Pete!
    After reading the blog I guess you have been missed by others too, not just me :)
    I look forward to reading a new Pete post, at this point I don`t think it even has to be funny, smart or anything…. I just want another Pete post :)

  8. We may have found Pete again but now Glnsky has gone AWOL again. My spies tell me that he is presently at the International Mafia Meeting at the Italian/Russian Resort of Forte dei marmi. This was told to me by the Captain of a Trawler despatched to deliver more seafood for the enormous plates of Fritto Misto being consumed there by Glynsky and his party.

  9. Oops, I mistakenly took Neil Gaiman for the author of the aforementioned link. It’s Will Catlin-Hallett instead. Neil Gaiman just commented.

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