Hi there all you billions out there in Diablog land.
I have been away for a few days bringing my boat on a marathon journey from Hertfordshire to Little Venice in west London.
When I say marathon, the distance is around 26 miles, which normally would take around 9 hours including going through the various locks en route at the beginning of the journey.
Nine hours may seem a long time to you, but is about the same time I could complete the distance on foot, providing they were no major heart attacks on the way.
So what can possibly go wrong?
Well we stated out mid afternoon on day one and reached a decent place for an overnight stop in some place near some waterside public house.
I fished off the boat well into the night and even caught the occasional one.
For once all was well with the world and I was at relative peace with myself as I awoke to the heat of the next morning.
I was hoping that the engine, would behave as it had been running a bit warm the previous day, but it seemed to be coping with the 30 degree heat that has been with us for the last few weeks here in the UK.
So on the second day I started the engine and my calm disposition and peace and good will to all men vanished out the window (or should I say porthole?) faster than you could shout FuuuuuuuuuucK .
The temperature gauge had shot from cold to hot within 30 seconds starting and within 5 minutes had started boiling up.
I started to feel the same way as the bleeding engine and stopped, then started it, added water and the bastard continued to blow hot water at me whenever I moved it.
I should point out that my mechanical knowledge of engines is about as complete as a blind Norwegian herring salesman.
I had to open the engine compartment (heavy) about 8 times that day as it staggered at warp factor one mile per hour, to a place where a mobile mechanic could come out.
The boat was eventually abandoned about a mile from Little Venice and the mechanic arrived the following morning, tested everything and told me eventually that my Head Gasket had probably blown.
I wasn’t sure if he meant mine or the boat’s but either way it is serious and undoubtedly expensive.
He is due to return to the boat today which I will believe when it happens, and then maybe, just maybe, my journey will continue.
To complete a perfect day I took my current wife out for a meal.
As I sat across from her in the Chinese restaurant, a serious look came over her face and she said,
“You know Pete, this isn’t going to work. I think I want a divorce. You’re just never going to bloody well grow up and be a man.”
It was at that moment, I knew there was nothing I could do.
I mean if the chopsticks-walrus impression I was doing wasn’t working, nothing would.
I will let you know how life progresses.