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50+ ways to promore the US states

Dear Reader,

Our beloved commentator Smiles thinks, I don’t like the USA enough. He went as far as suggesting I go and live in North Korea.

So let me quote an internet classic, rejected US State motto, to promote the USA:

ALABAMA:
Literacy ain’t everything

ALASKA:
Come freeze your butt off

ARIZONA:
Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds
Dehyd-rific!

ARKANSAS:
At least we’re not Mississippi
Litterasy ain’t everything

CALIFORNIA:
Nobody’s actually from here
The really long state

COLORADO:
Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
If you don’t ski, don’t bother

CONNECTICUT:
Way too close to New York
Like Massachusetts, only dirtier and with less character

DELAWARE:
You’ll need a map to find us
So close to Washington you can smell it

FLORIDA:
The Gunshine State
Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die

GEORGIA:
Home of the Rednecks
We put the “Fun” in Fundamental Extremism

HAWAII:
Sure, we’ve got Interstates… drive on over
Come, get lei-ed

IDAHO:
Ain’t nothing here
We don’t care if you spell potato with an “e”

ILLINOIS:
Land of the voting dead
Gateway to Iowa

INDIANA:
Home of David Letterman
2 billion years tidal-wave-free

IOWA:
Just east of Omaha
It’s easy to spell

KANSAS:
Ya want flat, we got flat

KENTUCKY:
Tobacco is a vegetable
We’re all related

LOUISIANA:
We’re not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that’s our tourism campaign

MAINE:
Cheap lobster
You can spit on Canada from here

MARYLAND:
If it weren’t for Washington, you couldn’t find us

MASSACHUSETTS:
Home of the young girls from Nantucket, also the home of Ted Kennedy,
hmmmm…

MICHIGAN:
Land of the free, home of the Buick

MINNESOTA:
Not Sweden, but we try to act like it

MISSISSIPPI:
Come feel better about your own state
We’re lucky we can spell it

MISSOURI:
Your Federal Flood Relief tax dollars at work

MONTANA:
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, and very little else
At least our cows are sane.

NEBRASKA:
Ask about our State Motto Contest
Go to Kansas, turn north

NEVADA:
3:5 you’ll leave broke
We have our own nuclear testing site

NEW HAMPSHIRE:
Go away and leave us alone
Like Old Hampshire, only newer

NEW JERSEY:
You want a %$#@!*& motto? I gotcher %$#@!*& motto right here!
Tell ’em Guido sent ya

NEW MEXICO:
We have reservations

NEW YORK:
Like we CARE about a motto
English spoken here; sometimes

NORTH CAROLINA:
Tobacco is a vegetable
Five million people; Fifteen last names

NORTH DAKOTA:
Um… We have… um… dinosaur bones? Yeah, dinosaur bones!

OHIO:
We’re easy to spell

OKLAHOMA:
Just like the play, only no singing

OREGON:
We’re not named after a musical instrument

PENNSYLVANIA:
Cook with coal
Free lube job with oil change

RHODE ISLAND:
We’re not really an island
Size ain’t everything

SOUTH CAROLINA:
Remember the Civil War? We didn’t actually surrender!

SOUTH DAKOTA:
Closer than North Dakota

TENNESSEE:
The Educashun State

TEXAS:
Se Habla Ingl├ęs
See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!

UTAH:
Our Jesus is better than your Jesus

VERMONT:
Yep
Bet ya can’t name 2 of our towns

VIRGINIA:
Please don’t confuse us with West Virginia!

WASHINGTON:
We like our state, so STAY OUT!

WEST VIRGINIA:
One big happy family. Really!

WISCONSIN:
Come cut our cheese
Land of funny accents.

WYOMING:
Wynot?
Where men are lonely and sheep are scared

From what I hear, Pete lives somewhere similar to Wyoming, and would feel at home there.

Stay tuned,

Engine Room

One thought on “50+ ways to promore the US states

  1. Is this the longest and least funny post on the diablog?
    Greetings from Moscow.
    I only thought that the US Citizen in North Korea would not feel so lonely if ER was to go there.

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