Our beloved commentator Smiles thinks, I don’t like the USA enough. He went as far as suggesting I go and live in North Korea.
So let me quote an internet classic, rejected US State motto, to promote the USA:
Literacy ain’t everything
Come freeze your butt off
Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds
At least we’re not Mississippi
Litterasy ain’t everything
Nobody’s actually from here
The really long state
Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
If you don’t ski, don’t bother
Way too close to New York
Like Massachusetts, only dirtier and with less character
You’ll need a map to find us
So close to Washington you can smell it
The Gunshine State
Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die
Home of the Rednecks
We put the “Fun” in Fundamental Extremism
Sure, we’ve got Interstates… drive on over
Come, get lei-ed
Ain’t nothing here
We don’t care if you spell potato with an “e”
Land of the voting dead
Gateway to Iowa
Home of David Letterman
2 billion years tidal-wave-free
Just east of Omaha
It’s easy to spell
Ya want flat, we got flat
Tobacco is a vegetable
We’re all related
We’re not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that’s our tourism campaign
You can spit on Canada from here
If it weren’t for Washington, you couldn’t find us
Home of the young girls from Nantucket, also the home of Ted Kennedy,
Land of the free, home of the Buick
Not Sweden, but we try to act like it
Come feel better about your own state
We’re lucky we can spell it
Your Federal Flood Relief tax dollars at work
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, and very little else
At least our cows are sane.
Ask about our State Motto Contest
Go to Kansas, turn north
3:5 you’ll leave broke
We have our own nuclear testing site
Go away and leave us alone
Like Old Hampshire, only newer
You want a %$#@!*& motto? I gotcher %$#@!*& motto right here!
Tell ’em Guido sent ya
We have reservations
Like we CARE about a motto
English spoken here; sometimes
Tobacco is a vegetable
Five million people; Fifteen last names
Um… We have… um… dinosaur bones? Yeah, dinosaur bones!
We’re easy to spell
Just like the play, only no singing
We’re not named after a musical instrument
Cook with coal
Free lube job with oil change
We’re not really an island
Size ain’t everything
Remember the Civil War? We didn’t actually surrender!
Closer than North Dakota
The Educashun State
Se Habla Inglés
See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!
Our Jesus is better than your Jesus
Bet ya can’t name 2 of our towns
Please don’t confuse us with West Virginia!
We like our state, so STAY OUT!
One big happy family. Really!
Come cut our cheese
Land of funny accents.
Where men are lonely and sheep are scared
From what I hear, Pete lives somewhere similar to Wyoming, and would feel at home there.