I am most grateful to Glynsky for pointing out my newly found culinary skills in his recent article ‘massage in a bottle’.
Naturally I thought he was referring to yet another form of sexual deviancy he was turned on by, but it appears on closer inspection to be about cooking.
It is true to say that I have gone from a Z list toast burning amateur, to 3* Michelin chef in under 3 weeks.
This apparently is a unique achievement but I have done it mainly due to the 24/7 guidance I have received from Gordon Glynsky and his current wife Nigella. They both have been very helpful in getting me ‘up to speed’ (especially Nigella who knows a thing about speed).
Naturally my rapid ability to pick up the little they know left me needing to expand my horizons, and my new restaurant has opened to some acclaim as you can see from the video shown below.
Those of you who have met me will be aware that I am not a morning person (Or for that matter an afternoon or early evening person) and when I reviewed the video footage it would appear that I needed to work on my people skills.
This will become particularly important when my latest venture opens in the next few weeks.
The garage at my country retreat has been converted to a ‘luxury’ bed and breakfast retreat for those wishing to enjoy the delights of rural life .
Unfortunately the name ‘bed and breakfast’ implies serving the bastards food at some ungodly hour of the morning before I can tell them to get off my property.
When I suggested to Mrs Pete that breakfast would only be served in the morning between 11.30 and 11.35 am she gave me one her her famous hard stares that she must have learned directly from Medusa. Therefore I may have to re-think this particular concept.
She also felt that throwing a tray of stale bread through the guests bedroom door was possibly unacceptable, especially if one wished to achieve decent ratings on Trip Adviser.
I will report back on the grand opening and let you know how the ‘guests’ and more importantly me are getting on.