Glynsky

sorry…

Dear diablog,

Without too much detail I have had a rather trying time over recent days due to a variety of ‘malaises’ – happily, so far, not mine! This has somewhat restricted the time I have available for writing.

I hope to get some original stuff in print very soon and apologise for having to fall back on a submission a while ago from Christina

christina

who, harrumphin’ about other people sent a variety of Q and A’s from (I hope fictional) exam answers from 16 year olds:

Q. Name the four seasons?
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink?
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q…. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’?
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q.. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning?
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head

With her own comments in red.

Yours, diablog, with little more to add

Glynsky

4 thoughts on “sorry…

  1. Dear Glynsky
    You were really scraping the bottom of the barrel with those,
    Greetings from Zambia. Been to Victoria Falls today and got soaked.
    Dr. Livingstone, I presume ?

  2. THE ‘Y’ CHROMOSOME

    People born before 1946 are called –
    The Greatest Generation.
    People born between 1946 and 1964 are called –
    The Baby Boomers.
    People born between 1965 and 1979 are called –
    Generation X.
    And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called –
    Generation Y.
    Why do we call the last group -Generation Y ?
    Y should I get a job?
    Y should I leave home and find my own place?
    Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?
    Y should I clean my room?
    Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?
    Y should I buy any food?

  3. Pingback: Native Wisdom | Glynsky and Pete

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