ER

Wait, I can explain

Dear Reader,

I stumbled across this:

The wife came home early, found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman, and was upset.

‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!’

The husband replied ‘Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened.’

‘Fine, go ahead,’ she sobbed, ‘but they’ll be the last words you’ll ever say to me.’

And so the husband began:

‘Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was thin, poorly dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days!

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night – the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.

I went and found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas the one that you don’t wear just to annoy her.

And I also donated those boots you bought at that expensive shoe boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has the same pair.’

The husband took a quick breath and continued:

‘She was so grateful for my understanding and help, and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

‘Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?’

 

Use it or lose it,

Engine Room

2 thoughts on “Wait, I can explain

  1. Very good ER. I liked that one.
    A man goes to a priest and asks him whether he could give his dog a Catholic funeral.
    The priest replied that he does not do such funerals but around the corner, there is a sect and they can do it.
    Before leaving, the man asked the priest whether 10.000 Euro would be too much for such a funeral.
    The priest replied, why you didn’t tell me immediately that your dog is Catholic.

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