Pete

Food For Thought ….

I am most grateful to Glynsky for pointing out my newly found culinary skills in his recent article ‘massage in a bottle’.

Naturally I thought he was referring to yet another form of sexual deviancy he was turned on by, but it appears on closer inspection to be about cooking.

It is true to say that I have gone from a Z list toast burning amateur, to 3* Michelin chef in under 3 weeks.

This apparently is a unique achievement but I have done it mainly due to the 24/7 guidance I have received from Gordon Glynsky and his current wife Nigella. They both have been very helpful in getting me ‘up to speed’ (especially Nigella who knows a thing about speed).

Naturally my rapid ability to pick up the little they know left me needing to expand my horizons, and my new restaurant has opened to some acclaim as you can see from the video shown below.

Those of you who have met me will be aware that I am not a morning person (Or for that matter an afternoon or early evening person) and when I reviewed the video footage it would appear that I needed to work on my people skills.

This will become particularly important when my latest venture opens in the next few weeks. Continue reading

Pete

In Sickness And In Health

I have not been feeling myself recently ….which makes a pleasant change but only goes to prove that I am unwell.

I have no specific symptoms other than feeling like I have a permanent hangover.

I decided therefore to have some tests done and found out absolutely nothing as a result.

The Doctor advised me to lose weight and keep the cholesterol under control which is easier said than done.new_year_diet

Apparently everything I like from wine women and coffee in excess, did not impress the doctor especially when I told her that I considered them to be part of my five a day. Continue reading

Pete

New Year Revolution

new-years-resolutions-1 2

 

2013 has been a bit of a joke at times, and I am not totally sorry to see the back of it.

As I write the wind is gaining strength and the rain is lashing down and tonight, on New Years Eve, I have the prospect of dining with Glynsky and Doctor Death the dentist.

As the well known song and perennial diablog anthem says, ‘ Things can only get bitter ‘

In the meantime I will end the year with a joke about a psychoanalyst. For your information I happen to live with one, and the trouble is one can never get away with anything without her finding out.

Therefore in order to keep out of trouble I will continue to remain perfect. So there you have it. That’s my new year resolution, or is it? Continue reading

Pete

I Saw Glynsky Kissing Santa Claus

I am sorry about the Title of this submission, which happens to be true,  but it was better than the other one I came up with:

‘Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire

which I felt might upset our millions of animal lover readers.

Meanwhile  Christmas comes but once a year a bit like (fill in name of anyone you wish)

Anyway the point of all this yuletide cheer is to find out from you all the answer to the following question. Continue reading

Pete

Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika

mandela17

I was surprised to say the least that we had not been treated to a Glynsky on the subject on the recent death of Mandela.

I happened to be in South Africa at the time during the apartheid era and remember all to clearly the ‘whites only’ buses, benches, beaches etc.

200px-ApartheidSignEnglishAfrikaans

The white beaches had shark nets the others did not.Perhaps it was one of their many ways of trying to keep the black and ‘coloured’ population down.We see suppression in many countries in the world but South Africa was unique in the sense of a minority suppressing a majority. Continue reading

Pete

Top Ten Or Not??

At this time of year it is customary to get lists of “the best of’ for 2013

Do not confuse  ‘ the best of ‘ with Glynsky’s choice of Christmas Cheer Muzak which has the unique ability to depress a national lottery winner.

The list I have shown below is for top ten jokes. (allegedly…)

Some are amusing some are not.

I will leave it to our ever increasing Diablog readership to decide.

.Women Live Longer

THE  ‘TOP’ TEN

 

10. ‘A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.

Continue reading

Pete

Pussy Galore

I don’t keep a diary but it would appear that some cats do.

I am not a cat or a dog person.

I am not sure I am even a people person whatever that is.

However a good friend did suggest that the cat diary shown below is worthy of the a larger Diablog type audience.

That is a matter of debate because some animal type videos are as cringe worthy as seeing the Scum float to the surface of the English football league.

I will leave you in peace to judge for yourselves

By the way I have  just canceled my gym membership ‘it just didn’t work out’…