Why do we (who?) let them (who?) wreck English?

Dear Reader,

Do you like English? I do. Actually, I love it. Unconditionally.
And I welcome all, who are willing to learn it. By the way, they are outnumbering those speaking it already, thanks to the Chinese.

In an earlier post Glynsky complained – it seems, that is all he does, I know – about “Western cousins”. And how they supposedly wreck the English language. Our Spelling Genius becomes Mr. Only I Speak The Lingo.

I could rip that post to pieces. Instead I will point you to a book:

It is great fun. You can get the book online, at Amazon for example, where you also find reviews. In case, you do not trust the judgment of a “foreigner” or one of those “cousins”.

And why do I love English? Here are a few reasons from Bill:

There is no egg in the eggplant,
no ham in the hamburger
and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted,
but if we examine its paradoxes we find, that:

Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square and
a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
why didn’t the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play,
yet play at a recital?
Why do we park on driveways and
drive on parkways?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
of a language, where a house can burn up
as it burns down.
And in which you fill in a form
by filling it out.
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented and is advanced by people.
And it reflects the creativity of the human race.
(Which of course isn’t a race at all.)

That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
but when the lights are out they are invisible.

And why it is that when I wind up my watch,
it starts.
But when I wind up this observation,
it ends.

Stay tuned,
Engine Room

One thought on “Why do we (who?) let them (who?) wreck English?

  1. Ok smart ass (arse is english),
    1. what’s a book.
    2. it is obvious Mr. B prefers english to american. Eg. of colonial language: they use delinquent, we use bad debt – any more you need?
    3. How oh how can you have ‘an amount’ of people, votes, houses, unemployed etc etc is beyond me.
    I will however concede that the common useage of ‘basically’ by Brits, meaning anything from ‘I don’t know’ to ‘in essence’ drives me to distraction.
    Ever yours (uuuughhhh)

Comments are closed.