I am even more worried than usual about your strange taste in women.
Your international HQ is already
groaning at the seams with Blond on Blonds,
+ the brunettes, redheads and Helen the hermaphrodite.
One would have thought that would be enough for one older
man with one remaining heart valve, but not you.
I read on this very Diablog that you have gone and fallen
in love with Janet Street Porter.
Her surname alone would suggest her background,
and what with you being an part time Italian Count,
I see no future in this relationship.
I would remind you that the woman has a mouth on her,
the size of Inner London, in all senses of the word.
I would refer you to some her more famous quotes shown below:
‘Blogs are for anoraks who couldn’t get published any other way.’
‘Caesar salad is one of my favourite lunch foods. You can shovel it in and talk at the same time.’
‘I’ve owned more sofas than I’ve had husbands. Both sag in the end, ‘
My strong advice would be to give up this worryingly weird
wannabee now before its too late,
and all your teeth fall out. Mind you she could always lend you some of hers.