Poor ‘Ole O’Leary

Spare a thought for poor ‘ole Michael O’Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair.

After arriving in a hotel in Manchester, he went to the bar and asked for a pint of Guinness.
The barman nodded and said, “That will be £1 please, Mr. O’Leary.”

Somewhat taken aback, O’Leary replied, “That’s very cheap,” and handed over his money.
“Well, we do try to stay ahead of the competition”, said the barman. “And we are serving free pints every Wednesday from 6 pm until 8 pm. We have the cheapest beer in England”.
“That is remarkable value”, Michael comments.
“I see you don’t seem to have a glass, so you’ll probably need one of ours. That will be £3 please.”
O’Leary scowled, but paid up.

He took his drink and walked towards a seat. “Ah, you want to sit down?” said the barman. “That’ll be an extra £2. You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have only cost you £1.”
“I think you may be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please”.
Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can’t squeeze in, he complains “Nobody would fit in that little frame”.
“I’m afraid if you can’t fit in the frame you’ll have to pay an extra surcharge of £4 for your seat sir”.

O’Leary swore to himself, but paid up. “I see that you have brought your laptop with you” added the barman. “And since that wasn’t pre-booked either, that will be another £3.”
O’Leary was so incensed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, “This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager”.
“I see you want to use the counter,” says the barman, “that will be £2 please.”
O’Leary’s face was red with rage. “Do you know who I am?”
“Of course I do Mr. O’Leary.”

“I’ve had enough! What sort of a Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!”
“Here is his e-mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9.00 am and 9.01am every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only £1 per second, or part thereof”.
“I will never use this bar again”.

“OK sir, but do remember, we are the only hotel in England selling pints for £1

The Øresund Bridge

The Øresund strait separates the Danish island Zealand from the southern Swedish province of Scania. Its width is 4 kilometres (2.5 mi) at the narrowest point between Kronborg Castle at Helsingør in Denmark – but this couldn’t stop these Scandinavic countries. They designed a magnificent bridge that turns into a tunnel… let me explain.

The Øresund was designed by the Danish engineering firm COWI and the main architect was George K.S. Rotne, being operated jointly by both states. The Øresund Bridge runs nearly 8 kilometres (5 miles) from the Swedish coast to the artificial island of Peberholm, which lies in the middle of the strait. The crossing of the strait is completed by a 4 km (2.5-mile) underwater tunnel, called the Drogden Tunnel, from Peberholm to the Danish island of Amager.

The man-made island of Peberholm is quite spectacular in itself. It was constructed from material dredged from the seabed. The flora and fauna has been allowed to develop freely, and has now become a big point of interest for biologists. The Lund’s Botanical Association has identified more than 500 different species of plants, as well as a popular breeding ground for birds and a habitat for the rare green toad.

The Øresund Bridge is the longest combined road and rail bridge in Europe, connection two of the most important centers in the region: the Danish capital of Copenhagen, and Sweden’s city of Malmö. It connects the road and rail networks of the Scandinavian Peninsula with those of Central and Western Europe.

The cable-stayed bridge has two 204 meter high pylons (almost 700 feet), supporting the bridge across the channel. Thanks to the bridge, an area that now houses 3.7 million people was allowed to develop economically and thrive.

Political Correctness?

What is meant by the modern term referred to as “POLITICAL CORRECTNESS”…The definition is found in at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence, Missouri.

The following are copies of four telegrams between President Harry Truman and General Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the WWII Surrender Agreement in September 1945.

The contents of those four telegrams below are exactly as received at the end of the war – not a word has been added or deleted!

(1) Tokyo, Japan   0800-September 1,1945

To: President Harry S Truman

From: General D A MacArthur

Tomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions?

(2) Washington, D C   1300-September 1, 1945

To: D A MacArthur

From: H S Truman Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct! 

(3) Tokyo, Japan  1630-September 1, 1945

To: H S Truman

From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz

Wilco Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?

Washington, D C  2120-September 1, 1945

To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz

From: H S Truman

Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end!

Jonty – My Beautiful Boy Has Gone

For those of you who have a dog or have had one, you will understand the grief it brings when they die.

Jonty was a lovely chap and a real hansom specimen of his breed. His pedigree was actually German, going back through many generations of world and national champions. We rescued him in 2010 when he was only 18 months old, so he was only 8 years 9 months, which is still young for this breed.

Unfortunately he got run over quite badly outside our house only two months after we got him. I thought we had lost him then, but despite grazing he seemed fine when the vet checked him over. The car was worse off, with a smashed in wing and headlight. That cost me £500 in repairs!

This accident had the effect of slowly killing the gracilis muscle in his rear right leg. It became fibrotic (known as fibrotic myopathy – see: http://www.vetsurgerycentral.com/ortho_semitendinosus_myopathy.html), which gave him a limp. This was incurable as the muscle wastes away. In the spring this year he suddenly started to go down hill and we went to the Royal Vet College to have him thoroughly looked at, in case there was anything we could do. £3000 later and we were no further on. They did discover that he likely also had myelopathy – see: https://www.ufaw.org.uk/dogs/german-shepherd-degenerative-myelopathy, which is the nerves in the spine degenerating, so this would effect the whole of his back end. We didn’t really believe them at that time, but lately it was becoming evident.

I have been supporting his back end all summer with a harness and lately literally holding him up whenever we went out for a walk, which was twice a day. We tried the wheels to no avail, just didn’t suit his situation at all. No doubt it’s done my upper body conditioning no end of good (he was 47kg), but it couldn’t go on indefinitely and this last couple of weeks decided me to stop now. I had already expected not to go into the winter doing this.

It has been really hard as we loved him so much. We spent all evening weeping and it’s left a huge void in our hearts and house. Much too quiet now! We keep welling up just thinking about him. What total wimps we are!