Text to Neighbour

Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. I’ve got a confession to make.

I’ve been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I’m telling you in this text and I can’t live with myself a minute longer without you knowing about this.

The truth is that when you’re not around I’ve been sharing your wife, day and night. In fact, probably much more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently and I know that that’s no excuse.

The temptation was just too great. I can’t live with the guilt and hope you’ll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you.




Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot Richard, killing him. He went back home and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.

Fred then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.


Hi, Fred.

Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out and noticed that the damned Auto-Correct had changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” Technology, huh? It’ll be the death of us all.



2 thoughts on “Text to Neighbour

  1. Best quote of the decade.
    Judge to prostitute “So when did you realise you were raped ?”
    Prostitute, wiping away tears “When the cheque bounced !”

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